Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
