so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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