He had one of those small greek statue penises
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
