she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Randomize
