What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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