theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
