he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
