Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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