Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
