During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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