We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
