Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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