remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
