my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
