you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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