I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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