I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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