You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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