Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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