Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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