you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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