the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
