Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
