yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
