PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
