Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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