Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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