There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
