They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
