Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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