and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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