Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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