i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
