I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
