literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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