im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Drunk is not a location!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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