I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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