I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
