I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
