I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
