i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
