A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
