***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
look no pants
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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