Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
