You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
