Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
