You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
