Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
