i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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