Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
