He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
sarcasm needs its own font
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
